Be Kind to Your Driver Part 2

…or Carpool Etiquette (for Entitled People)

As I was going through my old entries, I stumbled upon this old one from April 1, 2017.

Be Kind to Your Driver

Hehehe how ironic that it would be a post I’d make on April 1 of that year.

Maybe that’s the reason why it only received a few hundred views and probably wasn’t taken that seriously either.

I don’t really remember the reason why I wrote it in the first place. Maybe I was reminiscing on the good old days when Uncle Teodulo was still alive. Or maybe it was fueled by some frustration over entitled, non-driving people demanding I drive as if I was hired help.

Hmmm…

Whatever the case, I had a great walk down memory lane reading that post and decided that I should update it. After all, it’s been 8 years since I wrote it.

So here it is: Be Kind to Your Driver Part 2 or Carpool Etiquette (for Entitled People)

Be Punctual

I can’t stress this enough. When you carpool, there’s at least another person whose schedule is affected by your ability to show up on time. This goes both ways, to the driver and to the passenger.

Time is precious especially during the morning rush.

Show respect by arriving on time or being ready when it’s your turn to be picked up.

Even a 5-minute delay can throw off everyone’s scshedule. This can cause a domino effect where other passengers may arrive late for work or school, or the driver might hit more traffic, or scheduled drop-offs could be rushed.

Punctuality shows that you value everyone’s time and not just your own.

It helps set a rhythm and builds reliability in the group.

If everyone knows they can count on each other to be ready at the agreed time, the carpool becomes less stressfuland more efficient.

Make it a habit to be at the pickup point a few minutes early, ready to go. This might mean setting your alarm a bit earlier or preparing your things the night before.

If you’re the driver, aim to arrive right on time.

Of course, there are going to be times when something comes up that’s unavoidable.

Send a quick message to everyone in the group chat to update them and either ask for some adjustment or tell them you won’t be going along with the group due to the delay.

Adjust quickly to get back right on schedule and be understanding if you have to be the one to wait.

If you’re the one who caused the delay, make sure you apologize immediately.

Now take note that apologizing profusely the first time might be accepted by others but be late every time and you’re bound to get kicked out of the carpool eventually.

Which brings us to the next point…

Communicate Clearly

It happens.

Maybe you overslept, woke up feeling sick, or had a last-minute schedule change.

If that happens, make sure you fire off a message to your carpool group to tell them of the changes in your schedule.

You see… good communication is the backbone of any successful carpool arrangement.

Clear communication helps avoid awkward situations where people have to wait or they’ll have to rearrange seats because the next person in line didn’t show up.

This is where mindfulness comes into play.

Make sure you have a dedicated groupchat for your carpool and use it confirm daily rides, announce changes, or even share important traffic updates.

Communicate.

Share Driving and Fuel Costs Fairly

A carpool should feel like a team effort and not a one-sided favor.

If you’re rotating driving duties, the shared responsibility naturally evens out over time. Remember that the designated driver is the one risking their driver’s license for that day for all of you (and yes, risk is the right word because driving in the Philippines can be a nightmare).

In situations where one person is consistently the driver, using their car, fuel, and time, it’s only fair that all passengers chip in for gas, wear and tear and “gratitude tip”. Gratitude tip can be in the form of food or whatever and not necessarily money.

Otherwise, it will turn that vehicle into a PUV and the designated driver into an actual driver. Hahahaha

Seriously, driving regularly means handling nit just fuel expenses, but also the hidden costs of car maintenance: oil changes, tire wear, and even the occasional repair. Check BLOWBAGS for more information about this topic.

To avoid tension or misunderstandings, discuss and agree on cost-sharing early on. Some groupd pitch in a fixed weekly amount. Others calculate based on fuel consumption.

The key here is transparency and fairness so that no one will feel taken advantage of.

There are many ways to do this. You can use GCash to pool the money to fund your carpool and maybe help pay for unexpected events like emergencies or toll fees.

Respect Personal Space

A car may seem spacious when it’s empty, but once it’s filled with people, bags, coffee cups, and morning moods—it can feel a little tight. That’s why respecting personal space in a carpool is a big deal. Everyone wants to feel comfortable and not boxed in during the ride.

Start with your belongings: keep your bag on your lap or between your feet, especially if all seats are occupied. Placing your stuff on the seat or in the footwell of someone else’s space can make the ride awkward and uncomfortable for them.

Also, be mindful of your body language. Try not to sprawl out or lean into someone else’s side. If you’re in the middle seat, keep your elbows tucked in and avoid encroaching on both sides. If you’re tall or need more space for a medical reason, kindly let the group know so arrangements can be made, like reserving a seat with extra legroom.

Even in friendly carpools, a little physical boundary goes a long way in keeping the ride pleasant for everyone.

And it’s better to feel a little uncomfortable just as long as you’re not the one causing discomfort to someone else inside a car.

Keep it Clean

A carpool isn’t just a ride—it’s a shared space.

And just like you wouldn’t leave crumbs on someone’s couch or trash on their desk, you shouldn’t leave a mess behind in the vehicle. Cleanliness might seem like a small thing, but it has a big impact on the mood and comfort of everyone in the car.

If you bring snacks or drinks, be extra careful not to spill, and always take your wrappers, bottles, or tissues with you when you leave. Even little things like hair strands, receipts, or a sticky coffee lid can make the car feel gross over time.

And if you notice something spilled—offer to clean it up right away or let the driver know.

If you’re not the one driving, be considerate of the person whose car it is. A clean car is more pleasant to ride in, and it reflects respect for your carpool buddies.

Offering to wipe down the seats, vacuum the mats, or pitch in for a car wash once in a while is a thoughtful gesture that shows appreciation. Even the simple act of removing candy wrappers and used tissue is a good thing.

Keep a small trash bag or container in the car so passengers have a place to dispose of wrappers or tissues. It makes cleanup easier and helps keep the space tidy without much effort.

To be honest, this is the one rule I constantly break whether I’m carpooling or not.

And ever since December, after being lent a Toyota Altis in Manila, I’ve been trying to correct it and going back to how I used to keep the insides of a car pristine regardless if it is a modern car or a classic VW Beetle.

These days, I bring a bag along with me and make sure I remove everything that I bring along when I drive when I get home to avoid cluttering up the inside of the car.

Be Considerate with Conversations

Conversation can make a carpool more enjoyable, but timing and tone are everything. While some people love a good morning chat, others just want peace and quiet—especially at the crack of dawn.

That’s why it’s important to read the room (or the car) before starting a full-blown discussion.

If your seatmate looks half-asleep, is wearing earphones, or just gives short replies, take the hint—they probably aren’t in the mood to talk.

It’s nothing personal.

Some folks just need a little quiet time to wake up or wind down, and a calm, silent ride can be a form of self-care.

On the other hand, if everyone’s feeling social, that’s great—but keep it balanced.

Avoid dominating the conversation or steering it into awkward territory. Sensitive topics like politics, religion, money, or personal gossip can make the atmosphere tense, especially if people don’t know each other well.

Being a good carpool buddy means knowing when to talk, when to listen, and when to just enjoy the ride in silence. It’s all about mutual respect.

Stick to light, neutral topics when in doubt—funny stories, traffic news, or shared interests. If you’re a natural talker, check in occasionally: “Am I talking too much?”

A little self-awareness goes a long way.

Limit Phone Use and Noise

A carpool is a shared ride, not your personal entertainment lounge. In a confined space like a car, every sound feels amplified—whether it’s a loud phone call, a TikTok video, or a playlist that not everyone enjoys.

That’s why it’s important to be mindful of your noise level and how it affects the group.

If you need to take a call, keep your voice low or use headphones with a built-in mic. Better yet, step out to take important calls before the ride begins. For casual browsing or watching videos, always use earphones.

Nobody wants to hear random game sounds or social media videos at full blast during a 7 AM commute.

When it comes to music, don’t assume everyone shares your taste. If you want to play music or change the current song, ask the driver or fellow passengers first. They might be in the mood for quiet, or already have a shared playlist going.

Keeping noise in check helps maintain a peaceful atmosphere—perfect for early mornings, post-work exhaustion, or anyone trying to catch a few extra minutes of rest.

Put your phone on silent or vibrate mode during the ride to avoid constant notification sounds. A quiet car equals a happier carpool.

Don’t Bring Extra Guests without Asking

A carpool is a shared arrangement, and every seat counts.

That’s why bringing along an unannounced guest—whether it’s a friend, a child, or even a pet—can cause all sorts of issues. It’s not just about space; it’s about comfort, safety, and respecting the mutual agreement amongst all carpoolers.

Let’s say you bring a friend one morning without telling anyone.

Now someone might feel cramped, someone else might have to squeeze in the backseat, or worse—there might not be a seatbelt available. That’s an instant safety and courtesy concern.

Add in different comfort levels, allergies, or personal boundaries, and it’s easy to see why this simple rule matters.

Even well-behaved pets or quiet children can change the entire vibe of a ride.

Someone in the car might have pet allergies, or just want a quiet commute without a toddler asking “Are we there yet?” every five minutes.

The golden rule? Always ask first. It’s not about getting permission—it’s about showing respect for everyone’s time, space, and expectations.

If you absolutely must bring someone along, send a message ahead of time to check if it’s okay with the group. If even one person is uncomfortable, it’s best to find another option for that day.

Drive Safely and Responsibly and Obey All Traffic Rules

This one is mostly for the drivers but can also be applicable to passengers because their actions affect the driver too.

So, drivers… when it’s your turn behind the wheel, remember that you’re not just driving yourself—you’re responsible for everyone in the car.

That’s a big deal.

Your carpool buddies are trusting you with their safety, and that trust comes with the expectation that you’ll drive with care and focus.

That means no texting, no scrolling through social media, no making calls without a hands-free setup—not even at stoplights. Distracted driving is one of the leading causes of accidents, and all it takes is a second of looking away from the road to change lives forever.

Speeding, aggressive lane changes, and tailgating might save a few minutes—but at what cost? In a carpool setting, it’s always better to leave a little earlier and drive more cautiously than to take risks just to beat the clock.

Passengers also play a role in keeping the ride safe.

Avoid being loud, overly distracting, or trying to show the driver something on your phone while they’re navigating traffic. If you must bring something up—like a change in route or a hazard ahead—keep it quick and clear.

At the end of the day, a safe carpool is a successful one. Everyone wants to get where they’re going in one piece—and preferably without any stress along the way.

Show Gratitude

Carpooling works best when everyone feels appreciated—not just as passengers or drivers, but as people making each other’s daily routine a little easier.

That’s why showing gratitude, even in the simplest ways, can make a huge difference in keeping the ride positive and stress-free.

A genuine “thank you” at the end of the ride?

That’s already enough to brighten someone’s day.

Whether you’re the one getting picked up or doing the driving, acknowledging the effort your carpool mates put in creates a respectful and friendly environment.

And if you want to go the extra mile, small gestures of appreciation go a long way.

If someone regularly drives, offer to pay for tolls, parking, or chip in for a car wash. Occasionally surprising the group with coffee, snacks, or cold water bottles can really lift the mood, especially after a long day.

You don’t have to spend money either—offering to drive when someone’s feeling under the weather, or just being a cheerful and considerate rider, also counts.

These thoughtful actions build camaraderie, trust, and a sense of community.

And if someone in your carpool does something nice—like waiting for you when you’re running late or adjusting the music for everyone—don’t let it go unnoticed.

A quick “I appreciate that” is more powerful than you think.

Why You Should Respect the Driver

Your driver isn’t just “the person behind the wheel”—they’re the one responsible for your life every single time you hit the road.

Whether it’s a carpool buddy, a hired driver, or a friend doing you a favor, that seat comes with weight—legal, emotional, and physical.

Every trip they go on, they put their driver’s license on the line.

One wrong move—speeding, beating a red light, or just trying to shave a minute off your commute at your request—can cost them penalties, points, or worse, their license.

Not yours.

Theirs.

Driving might look easy from the passenger seat, but it’s mentally exhausting.

Sure some drivers will say it’s easy but that’s their opinion. Maybe they haven’t really taken a step back and gave it a level of introspection that I’ve given the act of driving since I’ve been driving for over 30 years now.

Check your driver the next time you get behind them.

You’ll eventually notice that they’re constantly scanning mirrors, watching fuel gauges, checking for hazards, listening to the engine, adjusting to road conditions, and reacting to reckless drivers—all while you’re scrolling on your phone or napping.

Yes, they’re still doing this while you’re enroute from point A to point B whether you see them doing it or not when you’re off to dreamland.

And yes, they get tired too.

They wake up early, sit through traffic, stay alert when others are dozing off, and often put your comfort above theirs.

That stress you feel when you’re late for work or annoyed at traffic?

Your driver feels it twice—once for themselves and once for you.

So do your part:

• Be ready on time.
•  Don’t ask them to break the rules for your convenience.
•  Speak with kindness, not commands.
•  And above all—say thank you.

Respect the driver. Because behind that wheel is a person keeping you safe, sane, and on schedule—often at a cost you’ll never fully see.

Just to Drive My Point Further: You’re Lucky You’re Not the One Driving

Let’s be real: if you’re getting driven around—by a friend, family member, driver, or carpool buddy—you’re lucky.

You get to relax, scroll through your phone, sip your coffee, even nap… while someone else deals with traffic, potholes, and unpredictable road chaos.

But here’s the thing:
Until you learn how to drive, you’ll never truly understand what your driver goes through.

Driving isn’t just “steering and going straight.” It’s a constant, brain-melting checklist:

• Check left mirror.
• Check rearview.
• Glance at the speedometer.
• Hear something weird? Was that the engine?
• Is the car behind me too close?
• Fuel’s low—can I still make it?
• Is the engine running hot?
• What’s that dashboard light again?
• “Did I bring my license?!”
  
  

…All this while keeping this façade of being and staying calm, dodging tricycles, motorcycles, random jaywalkers, and navigating a route you didn’t even bother to help plan.

Driving is exhausting.
It takes skill, focus, patience, and a ton of responsibility. And yet, too often, drivers get treated like background characters in your daily routine.

So, here’s what you should do:

Learn to drive. Even if you don’t plan to do it every day, just knowing how it feels will change the way you look at the person in that seat.

Respect the driver. Appreciate their patience.
And next time you’re tempted to complain or rush them… remember: you’re not the one juggling 12 things while keeping everyone alive.

Ok that’s it!

Maybe 8 years from now I’ll revisit this and come up with something new.

Comments? Do it below. Want to send me an email? Go ahead! 😊 Let’s trade ideas!